For those of you new to our family, we lost our seventeen-year-old son, Jacob, to a drunk driver in 2015. Our oldest son, Caleb, was driving his vehicle, which was struck by the drunk driver, and almost died himself. We are grateful that he survived and is now fully recovered.

I know from speaking to Caleb that there are not a lot of resources out there for people like him who have lost a sibling. That has led me on a quest to find resources to help. If you’ve lost a sibling—no matter what the circumstances—the grief itself can be overwhelming. Compounding that can be the lack of information and help for you.

There is also little information about coping as a Christian family. I asked my counselor friends, and we all noticed a lack of information online.

I hope to change that here.

While I didn’t lose my sister, Diane, to a tragic car accident, I lost her to cancer in July of this year. I talked to Caleb about the struggle I went through processing that and he reminded me that grief is no respecter of persons and time does not heal all wounds.

We must choose to process it in a healthy, Christ honoring way.

Today, I want to share the results of my search for resources for grieving siblings. Please keep in mind that you can always use your internet search engine (Google, etc..) to find more. I just caution you that if you’re looking for scripturally based resources, you need to enter that in your search request too. For example: Bible based help for siblings who have lost a brother.

Some of these are not faith based, so you will need to use your ‘faith filter’, as a friend says.

READ

• Here are some books I recommend for teens/adults who are grieving a lost sibling:

Grieving the Write Way for Siblings, Gary Roe

A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis

Surviving the Death of a Sibling, T.J. Wray

• These books have practical ideas for coping with the death of an adult sibling, recommended by a counselor friend: Center for Loss Bookstore

• None of these are faith-based resources, so you will need your “faith filter” for these articles:

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/adults-grieving-death-sibling/

https://whatsyourgrief.com/death-of-a-sibling/#

https://www.chop.edu/health-resources/supporting-bereaved-siblings

https://healgrief.org/grieving-the-death-of-a-sibling/

• Here are a few posts I wrote after losing my sister:

Mercies in Times of Grief – Jenny Leavitt

Sad news and a prayer request – Jenny Leavitt

LISTEN

• While We’re Waiting® – Hope After Child Loss Podcast “A Story of Sibling Grief – Bethany Sullivan” April 2022 Episode

• While We’re Waiting® – Hope After Child Loss Podcast “A Story of Sibling Grief – Bethany Sullivan” April 2021 Episode 

WATCH

• Watch “Mike Weaver from Big Daddy Weave on Heartbreak, Songwriting and Ministry | Interview with K-LOVE”, on YouTube

K-Love interview with Mike Weaver

• Watch Anne Wilson talk about losing her brother Anne Wilson – My Story (Official Video) 

JOIN

• Conferences that offer sibling workshops:

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/national-conference-workshops/

• These links will show where there are groups for grieving siblings. You simply enter a zip code and see where support for siblings is available. As above, neither of these are faith-based resources, so you will need your “faith filter” for these:

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/family-support/

https://nacg.org/ 

WEBSITES

• GRIEFSHARE

In person and virtual support

Adult support groups, not loss specific. A video seminar followed by group discussion.

To find a GriefShare group near you visit: www.griefshare.org

• STARLIGHT MINISTRIES

In person and virtual support

Christ-centered grief support for adults, children, and teens. Adult groups are separated by type of loss and children groups are separated by age. 4310 Baldwin St. Hudsonville, MI 616-662-1999. For virtual groups, go to www.starlightmin.org 

• HOSPICE

In person and virtual support

Adult support groups for loss of spouse/partner and loss of parent/family member who have experienced the loss within the last 13 months. Adult group not loss specific for those who have experienced a death beyond 13 months.

• THE DOUGY CENTER

National Center for Grieving Children and Families and an internationally known model for providing peer support groups for grieving children, teens, and families. www.dougy.org

• THE GRIEF TOOLBOX 

The Grief Toolbox website, which has helpful information for people grieving any kind of loss, including siblings: https://thegrieftoolbox.com/  There are on demand videos for those of us who learn visually, or printed materials like one of favorites, Gary Roe’s , “Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child”. https://jennyleavitt.com/2023/08/this-book-was-worth-every-minute-of-my-time-to-read-it/

There are books for children that are grieving, preschool to age eight. But the resources include the loss of a friend, losing a grandparent, losing a parent, losing a pet, and yes, losing a sibling. They even have journals and workbooks to help these young people create memory books and work through their grief in practical ways.

One of my favorite parts of the site is their tips on best and worst things to say when someone loses a loved one.

• MISS FOUNDATION

A volunteer-run nonprofit organization that supports people of all ages through the process of grieving the death of a child, grandchild, and sibling. Among the offerings are discussion forums, educational resources, biannual conferences, and local support groups, and grieving visitors can connect with a mentor for individualized support www.missfoundation.org

• THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS (TCF)

This is a national support group for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents who have experienced the death of a child at any age. National Chapter, PO Box 3696 Oak Brook, IL 60522 877-969-0010 www.compassionatefriends.org

Do you have any other ideas or resources for bereaved siblings to share with our community? Please leave a comment below!