When Someone You Love Is Grieving

There’s a kind of helplessness that comes when someone we love is in deep pain. We want to fix it. Say something comforting. Offer a solution. But grief doesn’t respond to solutions—it responds to presence.

When I lost my son, the people who helped the most weren’t the ones who said all the right things. They were the ones who just showed up—quietly, consistently, lovingly.

In my latest YouTube video, I talk about the simple but powerful ways you can support someone who’s grieving, even if you don’t know what to say.


What Helps Most (and What Doesn’t)

Let’s start with the hard truth: sometimes our best intentions come out wrong. Phrases like:

  • “Everything happens for a reason”

  • “At least they’re in a better place”

  • “God won’t give you more than you can handle”

…can land like emotional daggers.

Instead, here’s what grieving hearts need:

💬 Words that Help:

  • “I’m so sorry. I don’t have words, but I’m here.”

  • “I can’t imagine your pain, but I care deeply.”

  • “You don’t have to talk. I’ll just sit with you.”

🤝 Actions that Matter:

  • Drop off a meal without expectations.

  • Text: “I’m at the store—what can I grab you?”

  • Invite them to walk or sit outside. No pressure to talk.

  • Mark their loved one’s birthday on your calendar—and reach out when it comes.

Grief is heavy. But when we carry a corner of it with someone, it becomes just a little more bearable.


Faith-Based Support Means Listening First

As believers, we often want to offer spiritual comfort—but sometimes we rush it. Instead of quoting Scripture too quickly, let’s model Jesus: He wept first. He listened first.

If you’re wondering how to pray with or for someone who’s grieving:

  • Pray with them silently, holding their hand.

  • Pray for them later, when they’ve gone quiet.

  • Ask: “Would it be okay if I pray for you right now?”—and accept “no” with grace.

Grief rarely needs answers. It needs presence.


From the Video: A Gentle Reminder

This post was inspired by insights I shared in my latest YouTube video. If you want to hear more examples and ideas for how to truly show up for someone in grief, watch the full message here. And if it encourages you, subscribe for more faith-based content on grief and healing.


You Don’t Have to Do It Perfectly—Just Faithfully

Supporting someone who’s grieving is holy work. It’s not about performance—it’s about love. The kind that sits in silence. The kind that shows up with soup. The kind that remembers.

So if you’re wondering what to say, say this:

“I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.”

That’s more than enough.


💌 Want More Encouragement?

If you’re walking with someone through loss, I’d love to walk with you too.

🎁 Download my free grief resource, Sources of Hope, here:
https://BookHip.com/GFKWFTK

You’ll find simple encouragement, faith-grounded insights, and space to reflect—whether you’re the one grieving or the one standing beside them.