Ever since GodPrints was published, I have had several people ask me how my health is doing these days. For several months, I could say, “Thank God I am doing well”.
But the last few months have been difficult again. Lest you think that because I have written a book, I have everything all figured out; that just isn’t the case. I’m still on this journey, as you are my friend.
Still struggling to not get frustrated while I wait for the next doctor’s appointment…
The next test to be scheduled…
The next news to abruptly change my plans.
But history has shown me that if I am going to process this right, I have to deal with this.
I can’t shove it down, pretend like it’s not there, or somehow wish it out of existence.
The day I found out about this latest series of unpleasant medical tests that loom on my horizon, I told Myron that I just felt like crying.
I’m so sick of this. I wish I didn’t have to go through this.
But I do.
My strong, not really emotional man, looked at me with compassion in his eyes and said, “I know. I understand.”
And then he just sat with me in silence as the stray tears fell.
I told him, “You know, I feel a lot better just having told you. Thank you for that.”
To which he replied, “No problem.”
And that’s just the thing; he’s been with me for the past 29 years and through all the problems of life. Others may come and go. Problems may come and go. But I am so grateful to God that I have a man of God who has faithfully stood by me. And even though I know he gets frustrated by this news just like I do, he still remains by my side.
The next morning, God spoke to me in quite a comical way. He really has a sense of humor!
You see, we were in the final stretch of completing the audiobook recordings for GodPrints and the narrator had sent me the last several chapters to listen to and approve. While I listened to them throughout the day, God used my very own words, my very own testimony!, to remind me of all those GodPrint moments that He’s given our family, given me, over the years since I gave him my life at the age of 15.
Time after time after time, He has been faithful.
Through financial devastation and homelessness…
Through my husband’s back surgeries and all that entailed…
Through the loss of our son.
Not to mention all the little mundane daily things that we all experience in this life.
Through it all, the one constant through them all has been Jesus Christ. And the greatest gift of all, that same Christ lives in me! In fact, He lives in everyone who calls upon his name and cries out to him. He is but a breath, a heartbeat away, my friend.
Back to that day as I struggled to get my mind back in a good place, God continued to use my very own words to remind me it’s not over yet. As long as I have breath in these lungs, it ain’t over!
He’s been good and faithful and kind. He’ll continue to be the same: yesterday, today, and forever. The gradual turning of my heart and mind back to hope had begun.
Then to top it all off, Caleb sent me this phenomenal new song by Phil Wickham, that once again sent me to tears. (Admittedly, that is easy to do, as I am known in our family as the one who will cry at the drop of a hat.)
But this time, this time…
They were tears of release.
Tears of Joy.
Tears of renewal.
Tears of gratitude.
Releasing the pain, the frustration, all that’s out of my control to the only One who is truly strong enough and big enough to carry it.
Tears of joy for the peace that flooded my soul when I yielded that control back to Him and quit trying to solve problems on my own.
Tears of renewal as He recentered me upon the stable Rock of Christ, and the promises from His word, that not only will He never leave me nor forsake me, but this world is not all there is.
There is so much more, my friend.
Yes, there is more to this life than we live now. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. And all the other fruits of the Spirit are ours now.
But oh friend, because of what Jesus did on that black Friday…
Because of the blood He shed, our sins can be forever washed away and we can be made clean in the eyes of God.
Because death could not hold Him, and He rose from the grave I, no we, don’t have to fear death or the grave anymore.
But even more, now I, no we, have the promise of eternal life.
Eternal, my friend!
Life everlasting with all those who love our Savior.
Life everlasting with our precious loved ones who have gone on before us and loved our savior.
Life everlasting in a city, and a country, that is so beyond our wildest imagination that scripture tells us no eye has seen, no ear has heard what God has prepared for those who love him. We can’t even imagine how great and awesome our heavenly home will be.
So, that morning, this song sure was a great reminder of our coming promise.
One day our savior will split the skies, the trumpet will blow, and we who are alive and remain will be caught up to meet them in the clouds and be with our Lord forever.
What an awesome and astounding day that will be for those of us who long for his appearing!
As we celebrate Resurrection Sunday, will you join me in turning our hearts and minds from our pain and problems, to the One who loved us to death, literally, and has promised us so many good things more to come?
As I told Caleb after he shared that song, “Sometimes I just really want Sunday to come now. You know what I mean? But obviously, he’s not done with me… not done with us.”
And Caleb wisely replied, “You’re right. God’s not done with us and He’s working a better plan through all of it.”
Dear friend, He’s not done with you or your story, either. I pray this song blesses you and continues to turn your heart toward hope this Easter weekend.
Let me know in the comments below, will you? I’d love to hear from you!